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Hot
Online Dating:
Advice
Writing
a Good Personal Ad
To
thine own self be true. That should be the motto of
your personal ads. It should express who you are and
what you expect. If they were anything else, they wouldn't
be "personal" now would they?
The Title. Avoid the cliche phrases like "Looking
for Mr. (or Miss) Right", "Tired of the Bar
Scene", "Tired of Being Lonely", etc.
Think of it as a newspaper headline. You want it to
catch attention and make the reader want to read it.
Something that somehow reflects the theme of your ad
is good. Take a look at other ads and see what titles
catch your eye. Stay clear of negative titles, like
"Why Is No One Writing To Me?" Even if no
one IS writing to you... no one will if you sound sorry-assed.
The
Stats. Most personal sites want you to enter information
about your age, height, marital status, whether you smoke
or drink, etc. If your goal is to ultimately hook up with
someone in real life, don't lie here. They'll notice when
you meet whether or not you smoke or have kids or what your
height, weight, and age are. It's better to be up front than
seem like a liar. I know there's some out there saying, "But
if I say I weigh ______ pounds, no one will be interested!"
Do you want someone shallow enough to exclude you because
of your weight? For one thing, you don't have to give exact
amounts. On every form I've seen, the weight was optional.
Just leave it blank. Another point... there *are* people out
there that prefer a body with a few extra pounds. Not everyone
wants Brad and Angelina look alikes.
Pictures.
If you want a lot of responses, you'd better have a
picture. Many don't even look at ads without pictures.
From my experience, and from what I've heard from others,
it seems that people who don't have pictures of themselves
are usually hiding something. So, if you don't have
a picture, people are going to assume you look like
a dog's butt. Don't know anything about digital pictures?
Click here.
Location,
location, location. Where you list your ad will
determine the responses you get. For instance, I'm from
a small town near the Poconos. If I listed it by name,
I'd probably only get people from *right* around here
writing to me (there's not many of them!).... and those
guys from Saudi Arabia and Turkey who write to everyone.
So, instead, I placed ads saying I was from "near"
Philadelphia and New York. Both are about an hour and
a half away, not a terrible distance to overcome. Who's
the one who I finally fell for? A guy from 180 miles
away. If I had listed my ad in the town where I live,
Fritz probably never would have written to me. Neither
would Jonn, or Kevin, or most of the other great friends
I met online. So, this site probably would never have
existed! What's my point? Don't limit yourself geographically.
The
message. This is the main body (or essay section)
of your story -- where you get your chance to express
yourself and tell everyone what kind of person you are
and what you're looking for. Really think about what
you're going to say. Better yet, type it in WordPad
and copy it into the text box. You'll type at a more
leisurely pace and won't feel as "crowded"
as you do in the form. And you'll have spell check at
your disposal.
What
should you talk about? Talk about your interests.
Think about what movies, books, or music you love. What
sets you apart from everyone else? Is it your sense
of humor, your compassionate nature, your intellect,
your ability to stand on your head and spit nickels?
Talk about it. Don't be embarrassed by your silly quirks.
It's what makes you ... YOU. Still not sure what to
say about yourself? Ask your friends.
It's
also a good idea to talk about what you want from this
ad. To make friends? Fall in love? Meet someone to hang
out with? Do you want something short term or long term?
Do you just want to chit chat? While everyone is entitled
to your own opinions, I'll have to point out that saying
you want to fall madly in love and get married is going
to scare a lot of folks away. I should warn you that
there are a number of nasty people out there who pray
on the innocent and naive by saying what they want to
hear. So letting everyone know that you really really
really want to fall in love NOW, might let mean con-artists
know you're vulnerable. Avoid negativity. No need to
mention how badly your ex hurt you when you broke up.
No need to mention how lonely you are. No need to mention
that you don't like mind games. NO ONE likes mind games!
After
you place the ad... Women are going to get a lot
more responses than men. It's just a fact. Get prepared
to be completely swamped with responses, especially
the first few days. I know it's probably rude to not
respond at all to responses, but there's just no time
to do it all. When I had ads, I'd set up a bunch of
different folders for my mail and filter the e-mails
into the appropriate categories. "Respond To"
for the really good ones. "Maybe" for those
that don't completely float my boat, but are still pretty
good. "Nope" for the ones that don't give
you enough info to go by. and "Never" for
the weird sickos that kind of scared me. The first few
days were usually too overwhelming to write back to
many people, so I'd sit on 'em for a while, and reread
them a few times before responding. Sometimes, in different
frame of mind, or through sheer boredom, you'd want
to write to someone you put in the "nope"
folder. And maybe you'd want talk about those "nevers"
with your friends or on a site like Internet
Dating Stories.
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